Worthless
by Invader-Hime
Summary: Kwevin One Shot. He had no right to fall in love with anyone. His love was worthless.Kevin contemplates life and love when Gwen ends up in his arms by an accident of fate.Rated for Language.


AN: Well, as a break from "Beneath The Layers", I thought I'd do a CANON one shot Gwevin/Kwevin. It takes place a few years after Season 2. Angsty piece. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ben 10, I only write about it...enjoy the ficcage!

The attack had been sudden.

Everything was in chaos.

The old man had thought to pull out the Null Void generator.

To his credit, it had been a brilliant move.

More than half of the attackers had been sucked in immediately, leaving the others disoriented, distracted, and easy to defeat.

But, the plan had an unforeseen complication.

By some cosmic coincidence, the portal had opened in a very opportune place for someone on the other side.

That someone had seen his opportunity and taken it.

There had been absolute bedlam on the Earth side of the portal.

It was difficult to make out anything in the smoke filled battleground.

But there was one thing he had managed to see.

Gwen.

She was on the ground, bleeding from half a dozen small wounds and laying, limp as a rag doll, in the dirt of an open field.

If she was here, he knew the other two wouldn't be far away.

He heard them both warding off whatever band of unknowns

Without really knowing why, he had seized her.

He held her unmoving form close to him and for the first time in a long time, he ran. He ran away, leaving the cries of his hated rival behind him.

That seemed so long ago and far away now.

It was already becoming a memory.

Between then and now, he'd managed to make off with a first aid kit from a nearby ranger station, its residents too preoccupied with the current chaos to close the door before leaving.

Now, everything was silent, save for the birds hopping about and chirping in the trees above him.

After he set her bandages, Kevin sat beneath a tree with Gwen held against him. He held her with the soft furred hands.

She was so warm...so soft. She felt so fragile in his arms. Were all humans this delicate? He couldn't remember. Had he ever been so soft? He couldn't remember that either. He held her small body against him and felt her warmth through her clothes. She breathed in and out steadily. In and out. Her chest moved up and down in rhythmic movements. He slowly brushed a lock of hair out of her face with his free lower arm.

His fingers felt a cold metallic ball behind her ear. Perplexed, he pulled it out and found it to be a small medical dart which had apparently administered a three quarters of the dark green liquid inside. Kevin squinted his two left eyes and let the Grey Matter eye analyze the offending projectile. It was a device of alien origin, mostly used for delivering a non-lethal dose of Drejden paralyzing serum that triggers periods of immobility and unconsciousness.

Temporary paralysis. He could hold her for at least a little while longer. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so close to someone without fighting them...and having them fight back. She was just laying there in his arms. He held her a little closer, pressing her velvet soft cheek against his skin. If she was awake, he knew she'd never let him do that.

They sat there for hours, the two of them. Through the night and morning of the next day. He didn't sleep at all, just being content holding her in his arms. The longer Kevin held her, the less he wanted to let go.

She was so beautiful. Even bandaged and limp, she was gorgeous in a simply human way. For the first time in a long time, he became painfully aware of how ugly he was. He didn't show any signs of having ever been human. He was horrible, frightening even. In a horrifying moment, Kevin truly realized the dire nature of his situation.

He had still been a child when he had become a mutated hodge-podge of alien life forms. He had been angry and vengeful because of his misshapen exterior, but it wasn't until recently that he'd realized how wretched his condition was. His body was a horrific collage of randomly organized limbs, eyes and other extremities. Despite having eleven separate species in his make up, he did not look like any of them, much less fall under any of their definitions of "moderately attractive". Even worlds away from Earth, he was reviled by every species he had encountered. They practically oozed with their own tangible disgust.

Within the past few weeks, Kevin had become increasingly aware of a gnawing loneliness. It had never bothered him before. He had always wanted to be left alone. But all he wanted now was someone to talk to. Someone to listen to him, someone to hold him. He wanted someone to love him. But he was alone. Uniquely alone. There was no one like him. He couldn't believe that he had actually listened to the people who thought he was freakish before. He had been human, a poor excuse for one, but human nonetheless. There were millions of humans. Now there was one Kevin.

Kevin looked down at the dainty creature in his arms and found himself holding her tighter. He hoped she would stay asleep for just a little longer. He just wanted to hold her close. He knelt down to her face and brushed his cheek against hers. He nuzzled her softly, even planting a soft kiss on her lips.

As soon as he did, his face burned with the shame of it. He didn't have any right...he didn't have any right at all. The few times they had met, he had caused her nothing but trouble and pain. She probably didn't think of him as anything other than a hideous thorn in her side. Not only that, but no matter how much he ever loved her or someone like her, he couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't like he could actually do anything that normal people did. He had no right to fall in love with anyone. His love was worthless.

"Gwen!"

Damn.

Damn it all to hell.

"Gwen! Where are you?"

It was the old man. At least he could deal with him. He didn't enrage him to the point of physical aggression. Kevin found himself holding Gwen to his chest. He felt her little heart beating madly through her clothes. She was afraid? But she was supposed to be unconscious, what did she have to be afraid of? Was it a nightmare perhaps? Or could she hear the old man calling for her.

"Gwen! Are you out here?"

As if in response, Gwen's left hand flexed slightly. The sign. She wanted to be found. Even when unconscious, she didn't want to be anywhere near him. Kevin felt a flash of irrational, consuming anger as he shot off a ball of fire from his hand.

_There!_, he thought, _That ought to get the old man's attention!_

The little princess would soon be rescued from the grotesque arms of a monster and whisked back to civilization. Kevin felt as though he wanted to sob.

Apparently, the fire ball had caught Max's attention, as Kevin could hear his haggard breathing as he rushed through the forest. The misshapen creature simply sat there waiting. When the old man finally came into view, the two regarded each other with a mutual silence. Even from slightly far away, Kevin could see how tired Max was, his eyes were red and tear rimmed and there were dark black circles under his eyes. The poor man had most likely not slept while his granddaughter had been missing. For a few moments, Kevin felt the urge to flee. He wanted to run away from all of this with his little angel and live far away from everything. He had the power to...he wanted to!

But he didn't.

He found himself unable to move. He simply sat there and waited for Max to come to him. He could feel the elder man's burning hate from the glare he was receiving. It wasn't anything new...and for some inexplicable reason, Kevin was suddenly too tired to care. He was tired of all the fighting, hating, screaming, struggling, and misery. He just wanted it to stop. The closer Max got to him, however, the more Kevin felt the fiery aura of the man before him die down. It simmered down to disbelief.

"What are you planning? Why did you save her?" he demanded, voice wary, yet sharp.

Kevin didn't say anything. What was the point? Would the old man believe anything he said? He wasn't going to bet anything on it.

But he wasn't giving Max enough credit. The older man had seen many things in his life, from the unspeakably horrible to the sublime. He had learned to read people of all origins with an astounding accuracy. He could see the exhaustion of existence had been eating away at the misshapen thing before him. He saw a humbled monstrosity that had once been so sure of its superiority, but had perhaps encountered someone...or something that had promptly proven him wrong. Now, that humbled thing held his granddaughter in its grasp. The granddaughter who had been spirited away in the chaos of the small battle the day before.

The granddaughter whose wounds were bandaged and he was holding so carefully in his lower set of arms.

So very carefully.

Max knew in an instant what was going through the mutated young man's mind, even if the whelp was unaware himself.

"Kevin..." he used the creature's name, "Kevin...why did you take her?" Max asked softly, kindly, and without a hint of his previous malice.

Max saw the furred hands tighten slightly where they held Gwen.

Kevin snorted, but didn't answer. Instead, he looked away and did not return the old man's gaze.

"Please answer my question. I see you took care of her for me. I was worried she was hurt and had no one to help her. Thank you," Max continued, slowly making his way closer to the two of them.

The old man sat down before Kevin.

"You and I both know you could have started attacking Ben back there. But you didn't. Why not?" he asked softly.

"I just didn't want to. I was tired," came the gruff reply.

Kevin still wouldn't look at him.

"Kevin, are you in love with my granddaughter?" Max asked.

Kevin shot Max an acid glare.

"That is ridiculous!" Kevin snarled.

Max smiled.

"You didn't answer my question,"

_He knew! The way the old man was looking at him...he just had to know! _Kevin's face burned hot.

"You have to be kidding," Kevin spat.

"I'm not,"

"Don't be an idiot!" came the growled reply.

"It is a simple 'yes"' or 'no' question, my boy," Max said.

"YES!" Kevin practically exploded from the indignity of the question and its

answer.

As soon as he answered, Kevin felt as if he'd been stabbed in the chest.

How could he really love her? He hardly knew her. She certainly didn't love him. He'd been nothing but a thorn in her side. When she woke up, she wouldn't hesitate for a moment-she'd leave him. He'd be left alone again. He'd practically invented his infatuation with her over the past two days. Not only that, what did it matter if he did? Like he had decided earlier, his love was a worthless, pitiful thing. For an instant, he felt despair seep into the pit of his ragged soul. He hated despair! HATED IT! It made Kevin feel weak and helpless. To be weak was a disgusting, vile thing! The despair quickly converted itself into a sickening red rage. The rage boiled up within him. He was not only an inhuman abomination, but an idiot one as well. Now he wanted to hit something, but there was nothing worth hitting. There was only himself, Gwen and her grandfather.

Damn.

Kevin could feel hot tears practically bubbling in his eyes. He didn't even know these eyes could cry. He hadn't cried in years. He hadn't thought he was capable of it anymore.

_Look at you! You're a damn monster and now you're going to cry! You are so pathetic! _ his own mind screamed at him. _ If only they could see you now...they'd say they were right about you...your parents...you're nothing but some unnatural, worthless freak of nature! _

"Shut up!" Kevin shouted at himself, grabbing his head in his upper right hand.

Max paused. He hadn't said anything. Apparently the poor thing before him was going through some sort of unseen inner turmoil. The older man saw how pitiful the mutant was. He wasn't more than a few years older than Ben and Gwen. Max swallowed...something like that could have happened to Ben. But by some miracle of fate, it hadn't. That twisted pile of limbs could be Ben...the thought was so horrible that he couldn't bear it.

"I don't love anything or anyone! I hate it! I hate it all!" Kevin said loudly.

Max found that the boy was looking him in the eyes at last.

"I hate it," he repeated, though his voice had lost much of its venom.

Max saw a shiny bit of liquid slide down the thing's twisted face.

The hands holding Gwen were shaking.

"I hate it,"

The third statement was the weakest..it was almost a whisper of a mantra repeated over and over, meaningless in its repetition.

With sudden ferocity, Kevin shoved Gwen into Max's arms.

"Take her...please! Hurry, before she wakes up all the way. Take her and go!"

"But-" Max

"Don't talk! Just go! I can't stand it anymore! I hate it here! I hate that no matter what I do or where I go, I'm always fucking alone!" Kevin erupted.

The words were coughed out of his throat in an odd mixture of screaming and sobbing that Max found utterly pitiable. Kevin was looking at him suspiciously.

"Why are you still here, old man?" he demanded, more cold and distant.

Max had not moved an inch since Gwen had been unceremoniously shoved upon him.

"That's simple. You said it yourself. I'm an old man. I can't carry her all the way back by myself," Max said casually.

He could probably, if he needed to, but Max had the distinct feeling he wouldn't need to. He was right. After a heavy sigh, the monstrous being before him stood up and gingerly, with a care a creature of his nature should be unable to manage, he took Gwen from her grandfather's arms and held her against himself again. Max watched with a silent awe at the transformation that seemed to overtake Kevin's personality.

"Thank you," Max said honestly.

"I'm doing it for her, no one else," Kevin growled.

"Oh, I know," Max said.

The two started walking back to wherever it was Max was headed.

After about an hour of walking, Kevin broke the silence between them.

"When she wakes up, don't you dare tell her anything I said," he said.

"Kevin, there's nothing wrong with being in love with someone," Max said comfortingly.

"Yes there is! When the person who loves someone else is a monster, there's something wrong with that! It means my love is pointless! No one could ever return it!" Kevin snarled.

"Gwen co-" but Max was cut off before he could finish.

"Please! I know exactly how that will go. She'll listen to my pathetic little story, then look at me and say how she'll be my friend because there's no way she could ever love me back," Kevin scoffed.

"Do you always underestimate people so much?" Max asked.

Kevin snorted and the two carried on.

After another half hour, Kevin could see that ridiculous RV of theirs just over and upcoming hill. The end was coming. Soon, he'd give her back and she'd leave again. He couldn't run this time, she was waking up. Her eyes were darting under their lids and one of her hands kept brushing his side, then balling into a fist. She was apparently very aware of who was carrying her. Max went on ahead to see if Ben had returned from his search yet, leaving Kevin alone holding Gwen again.

It was almost over now. She was about to go home to where she belonged. He was about to leave and go nowhere in particular. Still, he just enjoyed how holding her felt. Even if it was only for a few more minutes.

With his stone hand, Kevin brushed her bangs out of her eyes. At the contact, they snapped open and Kevin found himself staring into two wide pools of green.

He waited for the inevitable shriek of fear and disgust...but it never came.

"Kevin?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah-it's me," he said, nervously quaking.

"I heard what you said..."

Oh no.

Kevin felt his mind reeling in panic.

"Your love isn't worthless," she said plainly.

His stomach practically fell to the ground within him.

"You're still human under all that," she motioned widely with her arm in his general direction before putting an arm around him in a half hug.

"Thanks for helping me and carrying me all the way here for Grandpa. You didn't have to,"

"I know...I just wanted to," Kevin mumbled.

"Because of me?" Gwen asked.

"Y-yeah, so?" Kevin tried to sound defensive.

"So nothing! If you ever want to see me, just come and see me,"

Kevin's mouth went dry. Did she mean this or was she under some kind of influence from the dart?

"It is nice not to be alone all the time. Who knows, maybe in the future things will work out. Maybe you'll get better...at being with people. But you won't know until you try," Gwen said softly.

With that, she placed her soft cheek against his chest for support and hummed slightly for a few moments. Kevin was shocked that she'd even consider doing such a thing. But she was...willingly. Her tone wasn't condescending or mocking, merely understanding. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had tried to understand him. Now two people had attempted to in a single day. Had the world changed? Or had he changed? A little of both, most likely.

"I hope things get better for you. I hope you see that you don't have to be alone if you don't want to," Gwen continued, putting a hand on one of his furred ones and squeezing slightly.

"I-I don't. Not anymore," he quietly told her.

"Then stay here...just for awhile," she asked sleepily before drifting back to sleep in his arms.

He could see Max and a very irritated Ben emerge from the RV and head in their direction. Kevin sighed. He wouldn't fight, no matter how much Ben annoyed him. He didn't know whether he would stay with them or not...but for the first time in a long time, Kevin found himself looking forward to the future.


End file.
